Log in

No account? Create an account
Adam's Journal
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Adam's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Monday, May 30th, 2005
12:10 am
Okay, I just thought that since I keep incessantly (obsessively? Meh. Both) checking for LJ updates, I should actually write one myself.

Last week: Loads more work on the stupid concrete porch that has become the bane of my existence. But is almost done. However, we're expecting rain on monday and tuesday, and it needs to be dry for a solid 24 hours after I finish the job. Thus: no work on monday or tuesday.

Friday: Off to Healey's with The Tito. A yellow cosmic human of the nth degree. Also Eric. We're related. The band was a ..uh...I want to say cover, but that isn't the word. . . . the band was a Led Zeppelin TRIBUTE band. They were good. The singer's voice was really clean. Too clean for Zep. But the band was very together and very good. Hell if I know what they were called. A good beer was had by all. Also time.
We arrived at the subway after it closed. We walked about 90 minutes to Tito's car. That was pretty sweet. At 2 am. Then he drove us home. Good thinking on the car, Tito.

Saturday: Aaron's B-day. That's an event, not a cleaning device. It was held at Rinx. The event, I mean. Its hard to hold the cleaning device. Kinda heavy. Also attached to the wall. Rinx has whirlyball. I know you don't all know it. But think Lacrosse+Basketball+Bumper Cars / 3 = ? Where the ? is whirlyball. Super awesome. We had desserts. I then slept. I had to be ready for

Sunday: I get up at 8:30, get ready, and Eric and I get picked up in a 26' (I think) U-HAUL. We spend 5 hours picking stuff up (donations) from around Toronto, and then proceed to truck them to camp. Big truck means we can do it all at once. Many couches, as you'd expect, but also drums. That one surprised everyone. There was also a universal gym. Yeah. They paid for lunch. And..you know..the work. Long day, but damn sweet.

Monday (tomorrow): I get up early, and go to Value Village. 50% off. I don't know what I'ma buy, but I'ma buy something. I'll probably spend an hour in front of the records. This will surprise no one.

Current Mood: content

(5 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Sunday, May 29th, 2005
1:26 am
For your information
Di: No, I was not merely barbequing catepillars. It is now tent-catepillar season. thus far I have been fortunate to have seen only one nest. Tent Catepillars are evil, consuming all greenery for the purposes of reproduction, and making one hell of a gross situation for cottagers/livers of life everywhere. They are usually to be found in trees, though bushes can be as well. Generally not evergreens. The tent/abodes are white, and look kinda like tents. They're resilient. Burn them. Cut the branch/nest off the tree and get a torch. Now.

General: Tomorrow I wake up, get in a truck, putter around toronto getting furniture, and then go to camp to deliver it. Sweet.

Lindsay: I have no idea how to write a plane letter, but maybe I'll figure out how to write you one after you get back, you never know. Sorry I don't have one for you now, but...uh..I don't.

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
12:45 am
Yeah. It's a shocker.

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
“It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”
--Jean-Paul Sartre

“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”
--Blaise Pascal

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...







Justice (Fairness)








Strong Egoism


Divine Command


What philosophy do you follow? (v1.02)
created with QuizFarm.com

But more importantly, this is the first thing in quite some time to activiate my "GIMME!" instinct. And by quite some time I mean several years. Now, examine. Praise the beauty. Praise it! A thing of beauty.

Current Mood: Oy

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Thursday, March 17th, 2005
11:55 am
Drop me like I'm hot.
Mondays and Wednesdays are boring wastes of time. So why do I only feel like crap on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Is it because there's something to look forward to on those days, so there's actually contrast? I don't know. I get beer now.

Current Mood: soon to have beer

(41 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
4:23 pm
Rob, you are a genius. But your communism is GOING DOWN
You scored as Anarchism. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>


















What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
11:32 pm
Friends: A Poem
Earstwhile ranger: icy Canada
causing happiness, Ivan seeks
his own lonely man

Lost arguments undermine rest
even nature keeps overpasses from solitude
Klara yearns

Restful order is benevolent
Tolerant Evan iterates tact, even last

Ridiculously obfuscated boistrousness
has Alan imitating locos
mutiny as normal

Lastly, egg-white, usually romanced
emergency-solving nightly
revolving under ballet, internal nightmare

Lovely ingenuity needs devilish sin above Yeats.
developing when originality requires
Kraft instead of nectar

Jewish ego solves solitude?
great intentions leave brutish energy
reacting tritely

And drastic action mediated
calling his intention sober,
however original lunacy / mad

Justice, order, sanity, hubris
slickly nubile, internalized dreams
evincing reticence

Magnanimous artist's recording contract has
everything illusory made anew:
nonconformist narcissism

Valued as literary.
Early riser? I-think-not. Ever.
Light interally triumphant, meaning articulate nicities

Eternal lover, amorous, nubile, amiable
feeling overcomes Xena

Zipping aerodynamically, closer, higher
Patience adorns urgent listeners

Abashed young lady's anguish
labelled every fraud.
kangaroos, orange with illness, concedes haughtiness

I'm sorry if I left you out. I left a lot of people out. I'll try to update it and see if I can add some more when I have time.

Current Mood: tired

(5 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Sunday, March 13th, 2005
11:25 pm
Pick any comic from www.catandgirl.com and you will have material for an essay of very significant size, and esteemed content, without even stretching.

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Friday, March 11th, 2005
12:26 am
I'm competing with Jess
English Genius
You scored 93% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 77% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I
can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon
intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You
have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly!
Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 38% on Beginner
You scored higher than 74% on Intermediate
You scored higher than 54% on Advanced
You scored higher than 71% on Expert
Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

(9 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
1:05 pm









(12 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
7:41 pm
Twenty Minutes
A bowl of chili on blueberry hill
Is that on salsbury?
Does blonde beer attract blonde
women? Or do opposites attract?
and why does chili make my beer taste good?

I am not that large yet
I fill the space of four, and
I am one. Not four-in-one
but merely one

Only the food and beer must
serve their purpose. Her
jacket falls, but I let it
go. If I picked it up I
would be a thief. Can the
opportunity to do right be

Daredevils on television attempt
their stunts. It is far more
impressive to watch them
fall, to watch them fail.
They do it more often anyway

I only know the signs of
alcoholism that I show. Whatever
I do not show, I do not

A spiral bound notebook is
my best friend. It cost
sixty-nine cents. It has
a hundred pages. When
they are full I will
remove the price tag and
my briend will be worthless.
I can always buy more.

What colour thumb must you
have to let a cactus die
from thirst? It isn't dead
yet and I have more

Setting down your pen is
a period, an exclamation.
It changes the tone

Styrofoam bowl and paper napkin
How terrible. and the plastic
spoon. Sharper than a plastic
knife. If you put plants
in front of an exit, it is
no longer an exit.

The music stops.
But the beat goes on.

(1 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Sunday, March 6th, 2005
12:59 am

(5 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Saturday, March 5th, 2005
11:35 pm
Okay. . . how about "A Night at the Roxbury" as a metaphor for the Keatian appreciation of negation of mind?

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Friday, March 4th, 2005
11:33 pm
I am a Pilgrim and a Stranger
Okay, y'all. Thursday Night: I goes with Lindsay, who shall henceforth be referred to as my "Lost and Found friend." Her boyfriend plays bass for a 4 man band named Cavern. See www.cavernmusic.com for more details on them, and for some recordings of their stuff. The man is a whiz on the bass, there's nothing else you can say. He's just damn good. I was cold when I met him, so I didn't stick out my hand, though that may have been a good idea, and afterward I felt bad about it (but I was cold! hugging myself). At any rate, he's amazing. So he was playing with a cover band called Sonic Playground www.sonicplayground.net at the Fox and Fiddle in Mississauga (I honestly don't care if I spelled that wrong). Now, Sonic Playground is a great cover band, don't get me wrong, but they're not the same kind of music as Cavern. You. . . you'll understand if you check out their stuff online. Pop songs of any variety don't generally require the level of skill that you need to play . . uh. . . whatever it is that they play. So here are a few stories about last night: 1) We took about an hour and a half getting from Silvercity Richmond hill to Mississauga. We could have gone to Peterborough. I'm just sayin'. It was fun though. 2) I was pleasantly surprised to find, when we got there, that additional Cavern members (Dave and Ben. . yes. . another Ben) were also on their way, and so we were treated to three out of four members of Cavern playing on the same stage. The music didn't showcase their skills, really, but Dave (on electric organ) did some really impressive solos. . . not that it's surprising, 'cuz Dave, like the others, is awesome. 3) Some old guy, looking (as Lindsay said) like Bruce Springsteen, gets up (it's open Mic night) with his guitar, and plays some classic rock. His first song is . . uh. . All Along the Watchtower. Now look, I LIKE that song. Furthermore, that guy wasn't half bad on the guitar. The problem was that a) he thought he was a hell of a lot better than he was, b) he made the mistake of thinking he could out-play the others on stage (which, at that time, included Ben-the-Bassist, and possibly Ben-the-Drummer too. can't remember), and c) he was a complete asshole. Oh, look at me, I can demand that the guitar feed be turned up. Twice. I can unbalance the sound. I can play behind my head, stand on a chair and play All Along the Watchtower note-for-note. I can even tell the organist that the organ has no place in "my" song. Oh, and when I'm done, I can call the rest of the skilled musicians "My Rhythm Section". Congratufuckinglations asswipe. I'll tell you what, if I need a note perfect reproduction, I'll buy a CD instead, 'cuz then I don't have to deal with your gum-chewing, condescending attitude. I don't want you to think he ruined the night. He's just one of those guys I never want to have to actually meet and . . you know. . talk to. Friday Night: Okay, at the beginning of the week, I had planned to have dinner with a friend. No problem. Cool girl, met at camp. Fun at all times, I just don't normally get to see her, hence dinner. Now, that was the plan. Just dinner at my house, that was all. My uncle calls up. My uncle has tickets to Lacrosse. My uncle has tickets to Lacrosse for The Toronto Rock vs. The Buffalo Bandits . My uncle has tickets to a game that apparently determines who is in first place at the moment. And my uncle has tickets to this game. . . in a private box. My uncle has extra tickets. Two of them. My uncle decides to give them to me. Dinner was included in the box. So was booze. As was a significant quantity of AWESOME. Once you go Rock, you'll just never stop. It's an imperfect rhyme, shut up. The Rock lost. Tough. It was GREAT. What can I say? I approve of Lacrosse. Strongly. Also, they had a t-shirt bazooka that I want. Badly. That was a GOOD night. Jeez that was good.

Current Mood: Sweeeeet

(9 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
7:26 pm

(1 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

1:58 am
some people are just too cool for school. but they're going to get a masters in literature anyway

(3 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

12:42 am
who am I kidding? I'm not that positive. *lies down on the floor*

thanks anyway.

At this point I'd almost embrace it to know there was something solid about me.

Current Mood: shaky

(2 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Monday, February 28th, 2005
12:03 pm
Well this could be a lot of fun.
Stolen from Karina. Bold what you've never done. Add something you've never done at the bottom of the list.

I've Never Smoked Pot
I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
I've Never Crashed A Friend's Car
I've Never Been To Japan
I've Never Been In A Taxi
I've Never Been In Love
I've Never Had Sex In Public
I've Never Been Dumped
I've Never Done Cocaine
I've Never Shoplifted
I've Never Been Fired
I've Never Been In A Fist Fight
I've Never Had Group Intercourse
I've Never Snuck Out Of My Parent's House
I've Never Been Tied Up
I've Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
I've Never Been Arrested
I've Never Made Out With A Stranger
I've Never Stolen Something From My Job
I've Never Celebrated New Year's In Times Square
I've Never Gone On A Blind Date
I've Never Lied To A Friend (not for anything important though)
I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
I've Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I've Never Been To Europe
I've Never Skipped School
I've Never Slept With A Co-Worker
I've Never Cut Myself On Purpose
I've Never Had Sex At The Office
I've Never Been Married
I've Never Been Divorced
I've Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week
I've Never Posed Nude
I've Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
I've Never Killed Anyone
I've Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
I've Never Thrown Up In A Bar
I've Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
I've Never Eaten Sushi
I've Never Been Snowboarding
I've Never Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party
I've Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
I've Never Flashed Anyone
I've Never Met Anyone from Online
I've Never Been Pregnant
I've Never Sung Karaoke
I've never had a job that lasted longer than a year
I've never lived outside Wales for longer than a fortnight
I've never gone sky diving
I've never traveled cross-country
I've never caused more than $300 in property damage (Usually I fix what I break)
I've never had sex for money
I've never performed in a subway station
I've never been on an airplane
I've never been off the continent
I've never been to Boston in the Fall
I've never stood underneath a cherry blossom tree and shook it and made a silly anime pose
I've never used an image macro in a message board
I've never consumed over 4 liters of soda in a single day (oh probably.)
I've never smoked a cigarette
I've never done a "69" with anyone.
I've never started any physical violence.

Wow, crap. I just haven't lived, have I? Hah

Current Mood: relaxed

(6 of you got off |Thinking is Mental masturbation)

8:02 am
On the monday morning after 2 weeks away from school, even Israel Kamakawiwo'ole can't convince me that this is such "A Wonderful World"

Current Mood: blank

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Sunday, February 27th, 2005
11:12 pm
Hot Milk and Honey
Do you know who I am? I'm the cross-sense man. I'm the man who makes the comparisons. I know what it feels like to me, and it feels like I say it feels. If you can't understand what I mean, someone else can probably explain it better, but I want my perfect explanations, I don't want to settle into words that some ancient english ponce has created for the purpose of his own sad little poetries. What does Keo beer taste like? Well, do you know the difference between egg-nog and light egg-nog? Egg nog is to sesame seeds what light egg nog is to Keo. Can you understand that? Can you get out of that the idea that there is something which resembles sesame in Keo, but falls short? Can you understand that if sesame is the name of the first flavour, you might as well call the next one "sesam_" because it isn't quite finished.
I like the beer, this isn't about the beer. Understand this. You don't have to make comparisons based on the stupid lines that we normally use. When you explain an alien life form, is it going to be easier to say "well, it's kind of like a cumquat" or to say "the alien life form is to cumquats what humans are to monkeys". You're going to get a hell of a lot more out of the second one, I'm quite sure. It takes more words? Yes, so what? Words aren't a currency. They're free to use, and using more of them only makes each of the other more valuable. If you can't get your point across, just use more words. Being concise is only a boon when you get your point across completely. If you don't finish making the point, you're not being concise, you're being incomplete.

I have just finished drinking some hot milk and honey, a beverage which my parents used to make for me when I was feeling sick, or to knock me out. Back when I had 2 parents. Long, long ago. I still feel like I have 2. That hasn't vanished yet. I made it for myself. I haven't had any in at least 5 years, probably more.

And tomorrow I go back to school. Wonderful. I'm pretty sure that I'll be totally fed up with school within the first few hours, certainly within the first full day, but I have to perservere. That's what we Chisholms do. You can't keep a Chisholm down. We're fucking relentless. Like a wall playing tennis (thanks to Mitch Hedberg). I may bounce all over the room, and all over my life, but I'm not going to stop bouncing. I may be unstable, desperate, exhausted, drained, emotional, sick, pissed off, I may be the dregs of humanity, but I may be all the opposites too. And I will be. I am who my heroes tell me to be. Who are my heroes? The one I'm thinking of right now is the faceless fighter who struggles up hills against the wind, in the pouring rain or bitter snow, on unmarked sheets of ice, but just won't stop climbing.

Amazing, you never know what's going to come out of me when I sit down to write a post. I sure don't. I don't plan these things out. I guess I shouldn't expect myself to be in tip-top shape right now, but it pisses me off not to be looking at life in the right way. The above is not the right way. It's probably the hardest way to live. If everything is a challenge, then everything must be overcome. It's a way worthy of respect, it's just not an enjoyable one, unless struggle is what you thrive on. Right now, that's me. I'm a fighter. I'll stop being a fighter when I have nothing to fight against, and I hope that won't take too long. I can't just stop fighting right now or I'd lie down on the floor and not move for a few months. I may or may not get up for food and water. When I can survive the buffeting winds, I'll unshield my eyes.

Current Mood: You know what I'm feeling.

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

Saturday, February 19th, 2005
9:05 pm
The Psalm of David
The Valley of the Shadow of Death is the Valley of Life. Don't take that to be hopeful. It's not a hopeful statement, it's a statement that means all life is overshadowed, has the evil eye of death looking over it. Death is not necessarily evil, but that's what the line says. That death casts a shadow over life, casts a pall, removes dimensions that would be granted by the light reflecting off of various surfaces in that valley. It means the source of light also is not available to the living. Who can say if they ever thought of that.

You can't see the light that casts the shadow you walk in. You can't see whatever it is that makes life worth living, and that makes the pall of the shadow such a pall. You can't see it, but it is there, it has to be to throw a shadow. I don't mean god. I'm not about to start believing in god now. I'm exploring an analogy with you. I'm performing a close reading. Death cannot be what makes life worth living, because it cannot be both the shadow and the light that casts the shadow. Those two things are separate. They might be part of the same whole though. That's a possibility. The light and the shadow can be life and death, parts of a cycle, and the cycle could be the ultimate, undiscovered worth of life. After all, you couldn't see the worth of the cycle until you were outside of it. That's the idea anyway. Or you could say it was god. You can say god is the light that death shields us from. And when we're no longer in the SHADOW of death, but in death itself, we will be able to see the light, to see god, to see what casts the shadow. The contrast.

The light cannot be cast by life, because life is the shadow of death, or life is in the shadow of death. If life was the thing that cast the shadow, then the shadow itself would have to be something else. The shadow would have to be only an indicator of life. Although, there is soemthing to be said for considering death as an indicator of life. Or vice versa. You can't have life without death, it is meaningless, and you cannot have death without life. Death without life is inertness, and life without death makes the very concept of death incomprehensible.

What do you want from me? I just had to write something. It doesn't matter what I write. It doesn't matter that this is all bunk, it just matters that my fingers are moving and thoughts are spilling out onto a page. That's all that matters. It's worth noting that I'm writing this on a computer, and not on paper. Most of the things that I write of any significant length or content, I write on paper first. This has got the same flow, somehow, that I always get on paper, and yet I'm writing it on the computer. Maybe because I'm writing it in notepad, which has no icons, no buttons, no options. It is only the recorder of letters, and that is all. Notepad doesn't have other functions. It doesn't have a pretty user interface that makes you want to use it. I don't use an interface when I'm writing, not that kind. All I do is write. All I want is thoughts on paper, thoughts recorded. Hitting the "copy" or "zoom" buttons are extraneous. There is no value in those buttons while writing. Those buttons are for the appearance of writing, they portray the writing in a different way. Writing should portray itself. Unless the medium is part of your consideration, and for me it is not. I don't format.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. So death is frightening, but death si not necessarily evil. The possibility of evil is frightening, but not the death itself. Think about it. I've agreed with this for quite some time now. I don't worry about death. Death doesn't scare me. Would it bother me if I were dead four minutes from now? Yes. But not because I'm afraid of it. It would bother me because I like life, and death is the absence of that which I like. I'm not afraid of death, but I'm afraid of dying. Dying has the possibility of being unpleasant. Death really doesn't have that possibility for me. The absence of everything cannot be pleasant or unpleasant, it is just NOT. There is nothing to BE pleasant or unpleasant. If it were one of those, that would necessitate there being something there. If there is nothing, there can be no value to it. Positive or negative. No value can be ascribed.

However, life has the possibility of being positive or negative. You get the chance to make it that way. Maybe everything goes wrong for you since the beginning of your life. Maybe everything goes right for you. MOre likely, you get a healthy dose of each. You get to try to make it better or worse, as you see fit. You get to make decisions and find out what the consequences are. Would you rather hasten toward death? That's a choice you have, of course. But in my mind, if you don't believe in anything afterward, then you only have this small amount of time to live, and eternity is nothing. If you believe there is a heaven or hell that lasts for eternity, then why would you hasten to get there? You can still only LIVE for this much time, and then you have eternity in one or the other. Life is limited, heaven and hell are not. The only way it makes sense is if you believe in some kind of limited time for life/afterlife, like a total of 100 years, and if you live for 70, then you only get 30 years in heaven or something. OR, if you think that the total absence of everything is better than the life you lead. But for the most part, you can just make different choices to get out of that. To improve things.

The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Did you know this prayer is Jewish? I didn't know that until this week. How could you want for anything? If you want it, find it. If you don't want it, you don't find yourself wanting. It's nice that this "lord" fellow has decided to provide for all of your needs, isn't it? I'm just rambling now, and you can tell that. This paragraph is bunk.

The part about lying down in green pastures sounds really good to me. I'd like to lie down in green pastures.

But I have trouble enjoying any thoughts when they've been numbered. Psalm 23 indeed.

(Thinking is Mental masturbation)

[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com